A sadness but a blessing....

My sister Vicki and I (mostly her since she lives in Illinois) have spent the last 7 or 8 years helping our parents as they aged.  Our mom, Geri, developed dementia and was able to stay at home with the help of caregivers, but eventually we had no choice but to move her to a Memory care facility.  Our Dad Vic got a ride every day to see her there.  She was his life's focus for those last years as she got more and more confused. 

Christmas 2015 I think.  My Dad said he wanted to buy some peppermint bark because it looked delicious, so I made some for them and had Santa deliver it.  

When Mom died in April of 2018, Dad was devastated and completely lost.  The fact that his eyesight had failed and he couldn't see to do anything he used to do made him very frustrated and was just a sadness.  With the help of caregivers, Vicki picking him up every afternoon, and my frequent visits, he was able to stay in the family house.

A few days after Scott and I returned from Europe, on my daily chat with my dad that Memorial Day, he said his had a fluttering in his chest.  My Nurse Practioner sister picked him up as usual and took him to the ER immediately.  He had atrial fibrulation and was put on a medicine to control the heart rate.  He sounded good but was tired from days in bed, so I made a fast plan to go home and help him get strong at home again.

On Wednesday he had a small stroke which left him unable to swallow.  He clearly told doctors that he wanted no feeding tubes, no IV's, no life-sustaining measures. He did want coffee and toast though, which he finally got Thursday night.  Vicki thinks he was peaceful after that and then was able to let go.  ha ha.  Could be right.

Family visited him and said their goodbyes. I flew in that Friday morning and he was unresponsive.  Vicki had already made arrangements to bring him home with help from hospice and they delivered him home on Friday night.  We took turns staying by him and on Saturday night, just before midnight, he took his last breath.  

We were sad but so relieved that he didn't have to try to get through another lonely and boring day.  He was so ready to be done with his life.  We decided to clean out the family home and put it on the market immediately.  Scott flew to Illinois to help and we spent 6 very long physical days carrying things out, selling, delivering to charities, jdoing yardwork, etc.  A huge job, done quickly!  We were exhausted.

I was in Manhattan, Illinois for 12 days of whirlwind.  Like everyone says, these times bring family together in spite of or because of the stress and loss.  xoxo to Vic and Geri, wonderful people who raised us well (in my humble opinion). 

My mom Geri and her sister Rose at a holiday dinner when we were young.  Those ladies knew how to have fun!

I took my Dad to visit our Aunt JoAnn in January 2019.  We grew up with them and she is the only one of their peers still living.  She's still feisty and at home with a caregiver and family nearby. 

Our parents loved Merichka's Restaurant in Joliet and we went there for special occasions since we were kids.  We had a dinner in honor of our parents and our cousins all came.  This is LeeAnn and Bob.  Behind them you can see JoAnn, age 88 and Lorraine, age 92. What a wonderful way to remember Mom and Dad.

After the dinner, we made an impromptu trip to Putt Putt golf down the street with my niece Jamie and family.  It made us happy after our tears at our tribute dinner at Merichka's.

At Putt Putt.  My Scott (who is known as Scooter in Illinois), My sister Vicki and her husband Scott.

The house I grew up in.  I hated raking those millions of oak leaves every fall, but I sure liked burning them.

My girlfriends gave me a gift card and I bought this in honor of Dad.  And brought one like it to my sister's new lake house to put by the Mom and Dad bench she bought.  So they are with us everywhere.